I’ve seen a lot of posts about coming out. This is what happens when you are forced to out yourself to parents who believe that you are sick and wrong and just using your past as an excuse.
Let me explain. In my short 18 years of living, I have been sexually abused three times. All by men, all felt outside of my control. So, naturally, I have learned to fear and distrust men.
My father says I am using my past as an excuse to like girls. I need to forgive and forget. I need to let go of the anger and hurt towards the entire male species. I am in the wrong. Not them.
My mother says that I’m just broken. That I’ve had some ‘rough times’ but I can get over this. She cries for me and prays for me. And if I choose the 'path of darkness’, they cannot support me. I am 'on my own’.
And they wonder why I want to commit suicide. This is what I have to live with. This is what I have to look forward too when I see my parents. Their sadness. Their anger.
Stay in the closet, guys, if you know that you won’t be safe coming out. Don’t.. Don’t go through what I am going through. I mean, sometimes it works out for the best, we all hear stories of 'hey dad I’m gay’ 'good about time you came out’ but.. I don’t know how often that actually happens. I wished it would happen to me, and I wish only the best for my closeted friends out there…but please…be careful. My parents are trying to fix me. It’s all they talk about. I had a eight our 'lecture’ that I went through, and not even the fact that I am an asexual lesbian helped my case. In fact, I got 'Just wait until you meet Mr Right.’
Just..stay safe, you guys. And please…just realise that sometimes…it’s not a fairy tale to come out. It’s a nightmare.
